


Lights on Low

by dralafas



Series: The Way Home [1]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dralafas/pseuds/dralafas
Summary: V goads Takemura into taking her out on a date.It spirals out of control from there.
Relationships: Goro Takemura & Female V, Goro Takemura & V, Goro Takemura/Female V, Goro Takemura/V
Series: The Way Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114373
Comments: 93
Kudos: 406





	1. Welcome to Night City

V thought it started for him when she asked him a simple question, one that she asked almost as a reflex.

“Hey, Takemura - are you okay?”

She remembered the way his eyes widened at her before narrowing in suspicion after she asked the question. He acted like one of those abused dogs she would see in old vids, suspicious of all attempts at affection and gnashing at her with snarling teeth. It amused her to no end, to be honest, that a grown-ass man who held one of the highest positions in the world could be so devoid of normal human interaction that lil’ small time merc V could somehow surprise him with an acknowledgment of his existence.

He was so damn prickly that she started to call him randomly after she finished a job, just to spite him and kill him with kindness. It drove Johnny insane, which was just extra brownie points in her humble opinion. Her constant communication with Takemura caused such terrible screaming matches between her and Johnny that once Johnny realized that this was becoming a Thing, he decided that it was better to drop a pithy comment and disappear when she started dialing Takemura than deal with the Sisyphean task of trying to make V less stubborn.

It was the quietest her mind had been in weeks. 

For some reason, Takemura would always answer her calls and listen to her with the most serious expression on his face. She would always eat a buck-a-slice while lounging on her couch, feet kicked up and her free hand gesticulating wildly as she rambled to him about the crazy stunts that she had to pull (never exaggerated, mind you) to climb to the top of the merc pyramid as one of the best net runners in Night City.

One evening, Takemura interrupted her in the middle of a story for the first time and she was so shocked that she let him. “Do you ever get tired of the bloodshed and the killing, night after night?”

V paused, chewing on her “pizza” while she stared at him in confusion. “I uh... I don’t know how you didn’t notice, but I’m not killing anyone, Takemura,” she said finally, setting down her slice. “I don’t think I’ve ever killed anyone in my life. Bruised and pissed off, maybe... okay, I’ve definitely broken a bone or two before, but never killed. Not intentionally.” She took a sip of her water, and then screwed the cap back on, tilting her head in Takemura’s direction. “Did you think I was out murdering every day, and calling you to enthusiastically talk about my body count?”

Takemura looked rather shocked for a moment, and then embarrassed, which - point to V, she thought amusedly. “I apologize for the assumption, V. But I was starting to be concerned about your mind.”

V threw back her head and laughed boisterously at the absurdity that was Takemura Goro. “Takemura! I’ve been calling you like three times a week! Are you saying that you just now started being concerned that I might be a fuckin’ cyberpsycho?”

*****

She would always end her story with the same question, though.

“Wasn’t that something, though? Hey, how about you, Takemura? How’re you doing, is everything okay?”

He would always say some generic bullshit about how everything was fine even though he was obviously going through something big, but although she was brash and uncouth she’d never been accused of being nosy and so she never pried. The one thing she couldn’t get him to shut up about, though, was food and the general depravity of Night City (her words, not his - he was much more articulate). He would complain about NC nonstop and it drove her nuts. NC was her turf! It was a shitty turf, but it was hers and she refused to have some prim and proper Arasaka corpo shit all over it.

“Takemura!” V interrupted him in the middle of a rant about the impossibility of finding decent Japanese food in Night City. “I swear on my mother’s grave that if you keep complaining about food in NC, I will put on a fucking dress and take you out on a date myself so you will stop your moaning.” There was silence on the other end of the line and Takemura, again, looked surprised. Might even be able to upgrade to scandalized, V thought archly, raising her eyebrows as she looked at him. “Hey, you on mute? Can’t hear you, choom.” 

V expected him to roll his eyes and tell her to stop mocking him again. Instead, Takemura turned the most interesting shade of red and he suddenly lost the ability to look at her in the eyes. “I am... I must go,” he managed before hanging up abruptly.

V stared at the feed in disbelief before bursting into laughter. “Did I break you, Takemura?” she texted him after she managed to stop from bursting into fits of giggles every time she thought about how adorable Takemura was when embarrassed. “I’m sorry for offending your delicate sensibilities.”

She put the phone down and laughed herself to sleep.

*****

The next afternoon, V sat in Tom’s Diner and frowned at her phone. Takemura, surprisingly, was a very good texter and would have usually replied by now with some sort of sarcastic or witty remark. But there was no reply, no call, and no voicemail. 

“Maybe I took it too far?” V muttered to herself as she chewed thoughtfully on a scop-burger, staring at the chat log. Maybe she just committed some huge Japanese taboo and she had no idea. She hesitated and then started to type something that she hoped was sufficiently sincere and apologetic before she heard a ping and stared at her phone.

Takemura had finally responded. “Is there any food here worth wearing a dress for?”

V blinked. And then blinked again. Was Takemura flirting with her? She stared at his latest message, and then smirked and made a decision. “Yes,” she started typing back. “You busy tonight? You can swing by my place and pick me up at 8PM if you’re not. Wear the same thing you usually do.”

*****

V knows, for her, it started when he picked her up at her apartment for their first date. Growing up on the street, a date ended well if she didn’t need to sprain some poor gonk’s wrist because he tried to feel her up without her permission. So, it was safe to say that her bar for gentlemanly behavior was so low that it was basically on the floor.

When Johnny was done checking out her ass after she dressed up - they might not get along, but she wasn't a monster who would deprive a man of a good view - she took an extra dose of the pills that Vik gave her so that Johnny wouldn’t be motor-mouthing anti-Arisaka propaganda nonstop. Not that she thought he would willingly stick around, but it never hurt to be extra prepared. She stared at herself in the mirror, looking at different angles to make sure she didn’t mess up her makeup. She had taken her hair down from her usual pigtails, and her hair hung around her like a shroud, black and shiny. She had lined her eyes with kohl, which was making her green eyes pop, if she would say so herself. She hoped it was enough, because that was the extent of her skills and any further attempts would be detrimental and leading straight to clown territory. 

When V arrived at the parking garage for her apartment, she found Takemura leaning casually against the side of his car, arms crossed. He looked up when he heard heels clicking on pavement, and glanced at V for a moment before doing a double take.

“Hey Takemura,” V called out as she sauntered up to him. “I clean up nice, don’t I?” She graced him with a slow twirl, giving him an eyeful of the skin-tight black pleather dress that she smuggled out from one of her jobs.

“V,” Takemura’s eyes stayed solidly on her face by the time she finished her spin. “You look - nice.”

V sent a beaming smile his way. “Such enthusiasm. Thanks, Takemura, means a lot.”

Takemura moved to the other side of the car and opened the car door for her. She stared at him for a moment, a confused, dumb, goofy grin growing on her face before she excitedly plopped into the passenger seat. Goro shut the door on her side and then got into the driver’s seat, starting the car and backing out to begin exiting the parking garage. He sent a questioning look her way.

“We’re going to an inbetweener,” V stated. At Takemura’s puzzled expression, she continued. “It’s not swanky enough to attract corpos, but not trashy enough for you to tell me I have bad taste. I wanted to avoid somewhere that someone might recognize you. Take a right when you exit the parking garage.”

They chatted the whole way - well, V chatted about inconsequential things like the weather and pointed out random landmarks around the city, and Takemura did an admirable job holding up his end of the conversation by asking clarifying questions and making affirmative noises at the right intervals - and pulled into the parking lot of a Korean restaurant. V fidgeted, suddenly feeling nervous.

“I figured Korean food was different enough from Japanese that you wouldn’t get even more homesick nor feel pressured to let me know if it is the best Japanese food since ramen,” V rambled, looking out the window. “And it’s definitely that inbetweener that I was talking about, real vegetables but not real meat, hard to find that in NC on a budget, unfortunately. And it has pretty good reviews, I’ve been here a couple of times and I can definitely corroborate...”

“V,” Takemura said when she finally took a breather, and she looked up at him, shocked to see him smirking at her. “It’s perfect. Let’s eat. Wait here, I will get the door.”

Oh shit, V thought dazedly as she stared at him walking over to the passenger door. That’s the first time she’d seen him smile. He shouldn’t smile. That - that should definitely be illegal. He opened the door and held out his hand, that soft smile still on his face, the lines around his eyes crinkled in delight, and she was pretty sure she was lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goro not being a canon romance is as much of a crime as his smile.


	2. Chippin’ In

It wasn’t the last time that Takemura took V out to dinner, but each date gradually became more frustrating than the one before.

Firstly, Takemura refused to let her pay. Or alternate payment with her. Or pretend that he was really paying by letting her slip him the eddies beforehand. It was sweet but also exhausting trying to devise new ways to leave money on or around his person so she didn’t feel like a freeloader. She wasn’t even sure how he was getting all of this cash anyways, since he most likely couldn’t access his existing bank accounts and he didn’t seem like he was doing merc jobs on the side, and at this point she was afraid to ask.

Secondly, he was a consummate gentleman on every date. He would open doors for her, hold her hand to help her stand or get out of the car, pull out chairs for her, the whole nine yards. Shit she only saw in the romance flicks that you would have to kill her before she would admit she loved. But he never walked her to her door, or asked for a night cap, or made any kind of move whatsoever. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t dropping some pretty heavy hints. Hell, if she dropped any more hints she might as well just take her clothes off and jump him with how fucking obvious she was being.

Thirdly, she was starting to learn how interesting he was as a person and she was afraid she was actually growing fond of him. The conversation grew less stilted over time as they got to know each other, and it was now to the point where they could have an honest-to-god conversation without one of them receding because the other one had offended them or had inadvertently brought up painful memories. Takemura was finally able to participate in another way other than ordering her around for a gig or listening intently to her particular brand of word vomit. He told her, over simple but delicious meals, about his childhood in the slums of Chiba-11 and of his travels to different cities across the world. She told him about what it was like growing up in the streets of Night City, lit up by neon lights and shadows cut by sqaulor, and the simple kindness of strangers banding together to survive.

She learned to not offer him alcoholic beverages after he declined the second time. She didn’t dig into why. 

He learned how she would clam up whenever anything skirted around the subject of Jackie. The wound was still too raw to talk about him, or even approach a twenty foot radius of him, if she was really going to be honest with herself.

They did their best not to talk about Arasaka at all.

So, she concluded, in light of their growing friendship, that there were only two possibilities. 

One, Takemura had zero interest in her romantically, and these dates were really just excuses to not feel like a weirdo when going out to eat at half-decent places around town. With the level her self esteem was sitting at right now, she wasn’t ready to put that off of the table. But then she’d notice the way that he’d look at her when he thought that she wasn’t paying attention, intent and wanting, and she’d start hoping all over again. And his eyes...

Fuck, where was she? Right. Or two, that he was interested and really did need aircraft landing-level signaling to be sure of her interest. No amount of hair twirling, eyelash fluttering, or brief hand touching was doing it for him, and she was not going to risk traumatizing him or ruining whatever they had going on now by stealing a kiss or putting a hand down his pants.

Both options were pretty terrifying to V if she was honest with herself, because they both meant that she had to figure out how to seduce Takemura Goro without scaring him off. And while she could talk her way of of certain death, she somehow lost all higher functions when trying to broach a topic as mundane as sex with him.

V was sitting in her apartment in the middle of this serious, deep contemplation on the subject when Johnny appeared in a burst of static on the couch next to her. He was smoking a cigarette, again, which somehow strained V’s nerves even more. “V, are you seriously still trying to get this ‘Saka asshole to fuck you? Maybe he’s playing for the other team. Better to try your luck getting fucked by another brain-washed corpo than to keep barking up the wrong tree.”

“Johnny, I am not up for your shit right now,” V seethed, pointing at him. She sometimes wished he was corporeal just so that she could poke him between the ribs or roundhouse kick him in his smug face. “I am doing everything else that you want right now by piling up merc jobs and trying to get on Rogue’s good side, so you can forgive me having a slice of happiness in my shit-stain of a life, you selfish cunt bucket.”

“Whoah, fuck,” Johnny raised his hands defensively at her vitriol. He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head as he looked more closely at her. Fuck, did he get that from her or her from him, she thought absentmindedly. “You from me - but I didn’t realize you were getting so serious about this corpo, V. This is not good for you, and not good for us at all. He was Saburo fucking Arasaka’s bodyguard for crying out loud. He’s just using you to get what he wants, how can you not see that?”

“If you took a minute to listen to him talk and watch him when he looks at me, you’d be able to see that he sees me as fucking person and not a tool, Johnny! Of all the things that I’m good at, my bullshit meter is pretty legendary and the reason I’m alive today!” V deflated after her outburst, picking off imaginary pieces of dirt from her clothes. “At least, it was. It is? Just leave me alone, Johnny. I do not have the emotional capacity to handle you on top of everything else right now.”

Johnny took a long drag of his cigarette, staying quiet for a moment before he threw the butt on the ground and dug his heel into it. “If you need to get laid, V, there’s a lot of ways to scratch that itch that don’t involve the dumpster fire around that old ‘Saka guard dog. You’re catching feelings, and it’s not going to work out like you think.”

V froze at the accusation, and then bared her teeth at Johnny. “Feelings? Perish the thought. It’s just the thrill of the will they - wont they, and I’m hoping the payoff will be worth all the effort.”

Johnny leveled a glare at her. “Fuck, V, I’m in your head getting the full play-by-play whether I want to or not. You can at least have the common decency to not lie to yourself. Lying to yourself is what gets you killed.”

“And you would know, wouldn’t you!” V snapped, regretting it instantly when Johnny went incredibly still. There was silence as he lit another cigarette and she gagged at the acrid smell and taste that seemed to overtake her mouth and throat. He exhaled deeply, flicking the cigarette away and then standing up.

“Fuck it, V. I am done sticking my neck out to try to get you to fix your own shitty decisions. Take care of your own shit.” He eloquently flipped her the bird and disappeared.

“Ah, shit. Johnny?” V tentatively called out, putting her head in her hands when he didn’t respond. “Fuck!” She hated feeling guilty after yelling at Johnny, but he was so aggravating she couldn’t help it. He was in her head and knew all of the right buttons to push. She sat there mulling over the stupid life decisions she had made to get her to this point in her life where she was trying to figure out how to apologize to a fucking program in her head when suddenly her phone rang. She grabbed it and answered without looking.

“Yeah, this is V,” she answered absentmindedly, pushing trash off of her couch to at least give the illusion of her having her life together. No benefit to having a Fixer see that she lives like a slob.

“V,” Takemura said quietly, and V’s head shot up to look directly into the feed when she recognized his voice.

“Hey, Takemura,” V replied. She searched his face and noticed that he looked apprehensive, and she sighed internally. Of course he would only call her when something was up. “I’m guessing this isn’t a social call. Is something wrong? Do you need help with something?”

“I’m sending you some coordinates,” Takemura responded. She heard the tell-tale beeping sound of a text message coming through on her phone. “Can you come sometime tonight? I need to speak with you in person. It is important.”

She examined the coordinates and did some rough calculations in her head. “I’ll leave now, looks like I can be there in twenty. See you then, Takemura.”

“Good. Stay safe, V.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not the only one who would drop things in the middle of a quest to talk to Goro, right? Right.


	3. Gimmie Danger

“You sure know how to impress a girl,” V drawled as she met Takemura around twenty-five minutes later, in the dead of night, on a dirty side street. She grimaced at the stench of mold and urine, sidestepping over a pile of trash. “You take me to all of the nicest of places.”

“I am sorry for the sudden request,” Takemura uncrossed his arms and stood up straight from his position of leaning on the wall. V wasn’t sure how he managed to touch anything in town as she watched him side-eye the side of the building that looked like it had grime older than her grandmother. “I received intelligence that today a warehouse in a prime location would have no personnel. It is the perfect opportunity for reconnaissance.” 

“A gig? Damn, Takemura, should’ve said so. You’re lucky that I go everywhere in NC packing.” V double checked her holsters and gear as Takemura started talking. She remembered one time she forgot to load her pistol before she started a job. She never made that mistake again. “What’re the deets?”

“I obtained a virus to hack Hanako-sama’s parade float,” Takemura responded, motioning at her to start following him. She obliged, and they both made their way through the abandoned warehouse. “We must install the virus before the parade. However, the floats are stored in a secure Arasaka facility. It is better to know how to get in before storming the castle.”

“Makes sense,” V agreed, pausing to climb over a gate. She brushed her hands together after she landed on both feet, before standing up straight. She rolled her shoulders, preparing herself for hours of sitting still. “So, it’s a stakeout. Should I order some take-out? Pizza is a classic.” 

She laughed quietly at the disgusted look Takemura sent her way. “No.”

“Damn. You really don’t know what you’re missing, Takemura. Ah, well, didn’t hurt to try,” V grinned, and tried to squash the way her heart fluttered when he sent a small smile back her way. She shook her head to recover. “Alright, what am I looking for? Ways to get in undetected?” She leaned over the railing with her binoculars, concentrating at the facility in the distance.

“Yes. Anything that would help,” he responded, glancing at her before leaning over the railing as well.

*****

After a couple of hours, Takemura felt satisfied enough with the information gathered from their visual sweep and sat down on one of the boxes littering the rooftop. V leaned against the railing as she talked quietly with him, deciding that disguising herself as an Arasaka supplier and entering the compound would be the safest and quickest way in.

“I’ll need to get my hands on one of those trucks that keep circling into the compound,” V noted, looking up into the star-studded sky in thought. “Uniform, too. Hopefully there’s a depot somewhere that’ll be easy to sneak into...”

V froze mid-sentence as a strangle tingle ran through her spine. She felt the malfunction coming on from the way her vision was beginning to tear at the seams and the intense pain spreading around her skull, and sat heavily next to Goro, leaning against him as the world started spinning around her. “Ah, shit,” she muttered, coughing weakly into her hand as she started to experience intense vertigo. “S-Sorry, this should be done soon.”

“V? You are not looking so good,” Takemura said with some alarm, wrapping an arm around her to keep her from keeling over. “It is already late. It would make the most sense to enact our plan tomorrow, anyways.”

“No, no - I’m -“ V started coughing again, trying her best to muffle the sound by covering her mouth with her hand. Her voice echoed in her ears like she was in a large, empty room. “Good to go. Fuck. It’s getting worse, Takemura.”

Takemura looked down at her silently before seeming to come to a decision. He stood and gathered her into his arms, one arm solidly against her back while the other rested under her knees. V felt too far gone to protest against a bridal carry, but she tried her best anyways. “Put me down, man. Can walk, Takemura. Just need - a little... time...”

She closed her eyes for just a second.

*****

V woke up and started at the unfamiliar surroundings, sitting up suddenly and feeling disoriented. She wasn’t in her apartment. She was lying on a mattress of questionable cleanliness, and the room was so dark that she couldn’t see at first. She waited for her eyes to adjust to the minimal lighting in the room. When she felt confident that she could see enough to not trip and fall on her ass, she slowly stood up and walked toward the ratty couch in the center of the room. She found Takemura rising into a sitting position, his grey eyes almost shining, the dim lights catching on the cybernetics on his face.

“V,” he began, giving her a visual once-over. “You passed out. I do not know which unit you live in so I brought you here. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” V plopped down on the couch next to him. She didn’t like talking about these episodes, because acknowledging them made them real, made it clear that she was actually dying. “Home sweet home?” She guessed in an attempt to change the subject, looking around at the squat. The entire room looked trashed, with bits of broken furniture and take-out boxes strewn about.

“For today,” Takemura agreed. He did not move closer or further away from her. “I do not stay in one place for long. Too much risk.”

“Yeah, makes sense,” she sighed, leaning back into the ratty cushions of the couch. She angled her body towards him, reaching out for his hands and grasping them lightly. “Thanks, Takemura. Really. You didn’t need to go through all of the trouble.” She felt him stiffen and then slowly relax with the contact, and he squeezed her hands back. His palms were large and warm, she noted, and enveloped hers completely. She rubbed her thumb along the side of his hand and felt chrome, slightly elevated and running in lines along his skin.

“I would never leave you behind, V,” he answered after some time, examining every part of her face before staring into her eyes. “It was nothing.” 

Fuck it, V thought.

She inched closer to him, hands still clasped, until she was hovering over his lips. The pupils in his eyes dilated as she moved closer, but that was the only change in his face. She stopped, hesitating. “Takemura - please tell me if I’m the only one who has been feeling this, because I don’t know if - if I could -“

Takemura surged forward, catching her mouth with his as he slipped his hands from her grip and pulled her closer to him. V had to say - she’s had a few adventures in her time, so she was no blushing virgin. That’s just to say that she was positive that this ranked at least top three on the best kisses of all time list. He was so warm, she thought, so warm and she somehow felt so safe within his arms as he embraced her. She settled her hands on his chest, tethering herself to the steady beat of his heart through his shirt. She felt his tongue poke through her mouth and she let out a groan she couldn’t control, her fingers moving up and tightening around his shoulders as she let him in. Her whole body burned under his ministrations as he expertly set her on fire. When they broke apart for air, V could feel her chest heaving and her lips starting to swell, wet and bruised. Goro looked equally ruffled, to her satisfaction.

“I wanted to do that for a long time,” Takemura started to say as he slowly traced her jaw with his fingers, and she heard his sigh as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. She felt him gently thumb her cheek, and she absorbed the affection like a woman starved. “But this... is ill-advised,” he warned, and her eyes snapped open. 

“Story of my whole fucking life,” she snapped, pulling back from him, feeling wounded. She could feel the frustrated tears coming on and she despised it, looking away from him and taking deep inhales to stop them from gathering and falling. She would not cry in front of him. She wasn't desperate enough to make herself emotionally vulnerable for a chance at a pity fuck.

“Fuck, V.” She could somehow smell the cloud of smoke from the cigarette hanging from Johnny’s fingers. He never appeared for her interactions with Takemura except to be a pissant, and she wasn’t in the mood to see him floating in the corner of her vision right now. “For the love of - you're such a chickenshit, you know that, right? Getting all worked up over this 'Saka-“

“Shut up, Johnny!” V rounded on Silverhand in her mind, mentally giving him the equivalent of a sucker punch as she tried to push him down into the recesses of her mind. “You said you’d stay out of me fucking up my own life, so keep on trucking!”

“You misunderstand,” Takemura gently turned her toward him, interrupting her mental battle, and Johnny disappeared entirely as she shifted her focus to him. “I do not wish to take advantage of you when vulnerable and facing death.”

It will kill me when you die, she thought she heard him say beneath his words.

V bit her lip for a moment, searching his eyes for a clue that he was playing her. But all she could see was sincerity and - something deeper that she refused to acknowledge for now. “I’m not dead yet,” she declared, roughly grabbing the collar of his shirt. “And I’m not going to be. So don’t treat me like I already am.”

In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought, and pulled him in to kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And V sticks the landing!


	4. Deviant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is where we earn the rating, folks. If you’re not interested, just skip down to the scene break.

Takemura lifted V up off of the couch and she made it difficult for him every step of the way. She frantically tore off his jacket between kisses and started to unbutton his shirt when he pushed her into the mattress. He held her down and whispered what he planned on doing to her, a rumble of Japanese that continued until she stopped squirming and was just left panting in anticipation.

He removed each article of clothing from her, slowly and deliberately, kissing every exposed part of her along the way. He slid his hands along her calves and thighs, her ass, skirting around the parts that she wished he would hurry up and get to. He palmed her breasts and gently lapped each of her nipples until she mewled, rolling her hips up to meet him. He pushed her hips back down and nipped at her neck. When she would try to lift a hand to touch him or to touch herself, he would grab the offending appendage and raise it above her head, ravishing her with kisses until she was just a puddle by the name of V.

“Do not move, V,” he growled in her ear, his voice low and seductive, and every damn time she demurred, melting into the bed and letting him continue to kill her slowly. “Patience is a virtue.”

She was certain that this was how she would die - trembling with desire while Takemura took his sweet time learning every part of her.

When she finally, finally was completely naked, Goro sat back on his knees and took her in. He looked suitably in disarray, she thought with satisfaction, his hair starting to escape from his bun, shirt half open and chest heaving. He stared for so long that she started to feel self-conscious. “Like what you see?” she asked quietly, squirming under the weight of his gaze.

His eyes flicked to hers. “Yes.”

V flushed. “I, uh - feel like I’m at a disadvantage here,” She blustered, motioning with her chin to his general state of having all of his damn clothes on. “You’ve still got everything on.”

She almost gulped when he leered at her, his eyes turning predatory. “I do not need to be naked for what comes next.” 

He leaned down and pushed her legs open, meeting no resistance, and she lifted her hips up slightly to give him more access. “Fuck,” Takemura grunted, and she almost jerked, shocked to hear him curse in English. She looked up to see him staring at her cunt like it was a hidden treasure, and watched as he slowly licked his lips. “You are dripping.”

His head dipped and she moaned when she felt his tongue lick her slit. She felt hot and prickly, ready to jump out of her skin and completely aroused after such a thorough teasing. He ate her out enthusiastically, like she was a fucking five course meal after not eating for days, and before long she was squeezing against his sides for dear life. “Fuck - fuckfuckfuck - I’m - Goro!” she moaned as she came, twisting on the sheets, an embarrassing amount of fluid leaking out of her. Goro continued to lap at her until she made a displeased sound and tried to close her legs, her clit overly sensitive from the attention. He looked up at her and she saw that his face and beard was completely covered in her, and she leaned forward to kiss him enthusiastically in gratitude.

“My turn,” she whispered, wrapping her legs around his waist and flipping him over. She was ninety percent sure that he was letting her handle him, but she didn’t care. She climbed over him, hurriedly undid his pants, and pushed down his underwear just enough to expose his cock, which she quickly shoved into her mouth. She could hear Goro hiss in pleasure and feel him buck underneath her, not expecting the sudden warmth. She took him in as much as she could before gagging, looking up when she felt him lightly pulling at her hair to lift her head up.

“Not your mouth this time,” he managed, sounding strangled, and she obliged, letting him go with a loud pop before she positioned herself on top of him and slowly, slowly slid down onto him. V gasped at the intense feeling of fullness and Takemura threw his head back, his grip on her hips tightening as she completely took him in. She ground against him fast and hard, her breaths coming in shallow as she moaned and took her pleasure. She was quickly climbing towards a peak and feeling herself on the verge of collapse when Goro gripped her hips and suddenly flipped her over so that she was on her back again. 

They both panted as they looked at each other, still connected, and V instinctually wrapped her legs around his shoulders. Goro started moving again, his pace slow but hard as he gazed into her eyes. “You are perfect,” he whispered to her, and V averted her eyes, feeling shy and vulnerable. Goro was making everything feel too real - she couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t fucked from behind, the gonk leaving as quickly as he came. The slow and steady pressure was hitting her in just the right spot, and she could feel herself start to clamp down on him, her moans becoming louder and more desperate.

“Look at me, V,” he ordered. She slowly looked back at him, her eyes connecting with his. Something electric passed through V as she looked into Goro’s eyes, his pupils blown and a red flush beginning to creep onto his exposed neck and cheeks, and watched his features soften just slightly as he thumbed her cheek. He leaned down to kiss her as he picked up the pace, then, fucking her faster but with just as much pressure and somehow still hitting that spot deep inside of her just right.

This is what a supernova looks like, she realized as she squeezed her eyes shut and saw stars. It was like she had escaped her body and that life was happening in slow motion. Her entire body tensed, her thighs squeezing against Goro’s neck and her walls crushing his cock inside of her like a vice. She threw her head back and wailed his name for the second time that night, spasming as her orgasm came upon her. She heard him follow along with her, a soft gasp that followed a warmth inside of her as he came. Her legs felt like jelly and she let them fall to the mattress while he slowly turned them both on their sides, facing each other.

“Um,” V said between deep breaths and full-body trembles from the aftershock. A showcase of her extreme intellect, she thought blandly, as she sought to reorient herself in reality. “Holy shit.”

Takemura simply smirked at her, hands slowly tracing up her sides.

*****

“We must be discreet,” Takemura murmured into V’s neck as she reveled in the afterglow of a thorough fucking. “We must never let Arasaka see what - what we have.”

Well, that killed the mood. V tried to push the hurt deep, deep inside. Center of the Earth deep, where she kept the rest of her simmering hatred for things like scavs and animal abusers. She failed at that particular compartmentalization task and sat up abruptly, gathering the sheets around herself like a shield. “What? Afraid that fucking some street trash is going to ruin your stellar reputation?” Her tone was as mild as she could make it, but she was pretty sure that her face was giving her away, as usual, so she looked anywhere except at Takemura.

Takemura lifted himself onto his elbows and stared at her baldly. The low lighting on his cybernetics made him seem like he was glowing, and V felt the inexplicable urge to lick him until they started fucking again and completely bypassed the whole talking part of a relationship. She successfully pushed that urge down, because she was the one supposed to be mad at him, dammit. She glanced at him and was surprised to find his expression thunderous. “Fucking street trash, as you say, would not be an issue. Affection is a different matter. Affection makes one - vulnerable, open to attack.”

V’s brain stuttered to a halt, her mouth opening and closing ineffectually. After a minute she managed to clamp her mouth shut and stared at him, speechless. She could hear Johnny laughing in the back of her mind. Catching feelings. Fuck.

Takemura looked away from her before continuing. “You and I are nobodies to Arasaka. But they are resourceful, and will use whatever they can to their advantage. I do not - I cannot have them use you against me. You make me question my commitment to my honor.” He turned to face her, and she was struck by how serious the confession seemed to be.

V still would not consider herself an expert in Japanese culture, but she did now know Goro. Goro loved talking about honor and duty, almost as much as he liked talked about how much he hated Night City. So, Goro saying that V was capable of having him compromise his honor was a serious tick in the “has feelings” box. V started to panic a little, the beginnings of denial starting to creep in.

“You’re - you’re saying something without saying it, Goro,” V whispered, her fingers crushing the sheets between sweaty palms and fingers. She saw his shock and then pleasure when she called him by his first name outside the confines of sex. “I would really appreciate it if you would spell it out for me, like I’m a dumb, American merc who has zero emotional IQ and never kissed a boy.”

Takemura looked unbearably smug. “I know that you have more than kissed a boy.”

“Not. The. Point!” V hissed. “You’re - I don’t want to assume anything but it sounds like you’re saying - like you’re saying that...”Goro sat up fully and tilted her chin up to look at him - and damn him, the man seemed to enjoy doing that for some reason, not that she was actually complaining - and kissed her so softly and so thoroughly that V was not confident that she was able to tell up from down when he was done with her.

“I am saying that, if you call yourself street trash again, I am not sure I will be able to control my temper,” Takemura whispered against her lips. “And I am yours, to do with as you please. You do not need to feel the same, but -”

V looked at him like he suddenly grew two heads. “Don’t - don’t feel the same? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” It was now her turn to kiss him thoroughly, wet and hot like she was flying too close to the sun, trying to convey the whirlwind of feelings that she held for him through her body instead of her words. But, she thought as she attacked Goro’s mouth with her own, maybe words were worth something even if they were both shit at them. When they broke apart for a breath, V felt her insides coil with nervousness as she decided to say something.

“If you’re mine, than I am yours,” V somehow managed to say without her voice cracking like a teenaged boy. “I love you too, you big gonk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry? Hope you enjoyed the sugar with the spice.


	5. Surprise Me, I’m Surprised Today

How did everything go to shit so quickly? V wondered as she sat in her room in the Sunset Motel by herself, the edges of her vision glitching out as she clutched a shotgun between shaking hands. She was covered in dirt, blood, and grime, and she pretty sure some of it was hers and she was bleeding somewhere, but with all of the pain in all of the places she had no damn idea from where.

Johnny was monologuing at her from the chair across the bed, and she had zero interest in actually listening to him. Her thoughts were only on Goro. She took deep breaths, trying to ground herself. He had to be fine. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if he wasn’t fine.

They had both been entangled together in bed just that morning, sweaty and sated. She remembered the morning sun filtering through her partially opened windows and bathing them with light. Takemura held her close and reassured her that the plan that they had was the best one that they could manage. She ran her fingers through his unbound hair and listened. Sneak around the parade. Get onto the float. Talk to Hanako. Get her head fixed. A million little things could go wrong, but he sounded so sure, so confident.

Everything went perfectly until it came to actually extracting Hanako Arasaka.

The rumbles of a car engine echoed through the parking lot and bright headlights shone into her room. She heard the slam of a car door and then three light knocks on the motel door. She heard a woman’s voice. “Hello? I have a message for V.”

She stood up and slowly approached the door.

*****

V could not begin to describe the intense relief she felt when she saw Takemura walk through the door of her room at the No-tell Motel. He looked like a million eddies, she thought, looking well-rested and having no visible wounds even after being dropped in on by a squad of Arasaka troopers. After the relief, though, came a wave of incandescent rage.

“You put a fucking Arasaka tracker on me?” V accused, dangerously low and quiet. 

Takemura ignored the obvious signals screaming Danger, Do Not Approach and stode up to her, quickly pulling her into an embrace. Fuck, he smelled amazing, like fancy corpo cologne and shampoo, V thought as she breathed him in. She stood stiff in his arms, though, unable to release that feeling of intense betrayal. “Valerie. I am happy to see you.”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” V snapped, pushing him away from her. He stepped back and gave her some space, and she tried to ignore the flash of hurt that crossed his face. “You put a fucking Arasaka tracker on me and risked Hanako fucking Arasaka blowing my brains out as I pulled bullets out of myself in a disease ridden dump!”

Johnny knew better than to interfere at this point, but she could see him looking smug as hell in the corner of the room. There might as well have been a giant neon sign blinking “I fucking told you so” above his head. She did her best to ignore him. She’d been doing a lot that, lately.

Takemura immediately looked concerned, scanning her. Literally! He had the fucking audacity to scan her with his reactivated cybernetics, she realized numbly. She wasn’t sure if she should feel even more angry or disappointed. “It’s been three days. Did you not get any medical attention?”

“Goro!” V screeched, finally losing it. “You are missing the fucking point!”“I am not,” he replied calmly. V could tell that he was doing his best not to yell back at her, but she was itching for a fight and found that she couldn't care less. “Valerie. Control your anger. I will explain what happened, then decide if you wish to be upset with me.”

V walked to the bed and sat down, facing away from Takemura, and put her head into her hands to release a frustrated scream into her palms. She took one deep breath, and then another, counting her breaths until she was sure she wasn’t going to strangle him to death. After a couple of minutes, she finally sighed. “Okay,” she said, still unable to look at him. “Okay. Hit me.”

“I am not going to hurt you.” Goro said quietly from behind her. “Valerie-“

“Fuck! Tell me the story!” She slammed a fist into the mattress, trembling. Takemura knelt in front of her and gently took her hands into his and brought them to his mouth, kissing each of her digits. When she finally stopped trembling, he started to talk.

“I will start at the beginning. Yes, I put a tracker on you - not specifically an Arasaka tracker.” Takemura shifted nervously, his head down and never taking his eyes off of her hands. “It has only been on you since before the parade.” He cleared his throat, a tic causing a muscle in his jaw to jump as he clenched his teeth. “I sometimes dream of pulling your corpse from a landfill, but this time you are not alive.”

“You could have asked me,” V said quietly, stunned at his admission. “If you had asked, I could have done a lot more to protect myself.”“I did not want you to believe I did not have confidence in the plan, and I had hoped it was a simple way to cure my paranoia. I do not have an excuse otherwise,” Goro answered solemnly, pressing her palms against his cheek. His beard was scratchy against her skin, and she gently dug her fingernails in, scratching down his beard in what she hoped was a comforting manner. He looked up at her drolly. “I will ask the next time we plan a life-threatening mission together.”

V couldn’t help but snort and roll her eyes at him. “How did Hanako get hold of the tracker?” V felt her anger reduce into a smaller flame as she watched Takemura lean into her touch. He was such a gonk, she thought fondly, but he was hers.

“Hanako-sama did not. I gave the Delamain that chauffeured the proxy the coordinates directly. If she knew your location, it was not through me, not purposefully.” Takemura sighed. “Hanako-sama first sent a proxy to where I was hiding. I assume she tracked my burner phone. She assured me that you would be safe, and placed me into a secure location. I wanted to contact you earlier, but she would have traced the call and found you faster.”

V chewed on this new information in her head, lapsing into silence. V was rather proud of her net-running skills, and she had a feeling that Goro was leaving something unsaid. Takemura continued kneeling and pressing himself against her fingers, waiting for her to respond. “Your ‘netics are back online,” V finally noted. “All that effort is probably wasted. She probably knows where we are right now.”

Takemura nodded, looking apologetic. “Only partially, and only enough to avoid Yorinobu’s notice. But yes, she could find me if she bothered to look. I am only here now because I persuaded her that this would be necessary to convince you to meet her, and hear her out. Valerie. You come first,” he admitted with some effort, a wandering hand drifting up her thigh. “Any action I take is after considering your safety. I am still convinced that Arasaka provides the highest chance of success.”

“And gives you the best chance of restoring your honor,” V said softly, digging her fingers in a little deeper into his beard. “Getting back at Yorinobu for saying you killed Saburo.”

“I do not deny this. It is as - what is the phrase - two birds with one stone?” Goro shook his head. “Do you trust me?” His other hand began to wander up her torso, briefly skimming over her skin. She realized with sudden clarity that he was not trying to get her into bed, but to check her for the wounds that she mentioned earlier. He promised that he would never leave you behind, her conscious whispered softly to her. He says he cares about your safety, but he’s not had to make that choice yet, to defy Arasaka for you. Will he when the time comes? V bit her lip and searched Goro’s eyes, trying to make a decision.

“Yes,” V replied softly, leaning in to kiss him. “With everything.”

Takemura sighed from deep within his throat and gathered her close as he kissed her back, pulling her off of the bed and into his arms on the floor. V grimaced as his wandering fingers finally found the grubby gauze covering the bullet wounds on her right side, and he retracted his hand as if he was burnt. She looked up at him, a crooked smile on her face. “It’s nothing that a little alcohol didn’t fix.”

Takemura sighed again, but this time out of a deep-set annoyance toward what V assumed was her rather impressive lack of regard for her own survival, and picked V up to gently set her on the bed. “Rest,” he ordered her. “I will return shortly.”

*****

Johnny appeared as soon as Takemura left the room, sitting on the side of the bed as she stared at the ceiling. “A lot of convenient answers from that one,” he said lightly. “You really, really sure you can trust him?”

V didn’t even bother to look at him fully. She couldn't decide if it was worse when he was trying to be friendly. “As much as you can trust another human.”

“Shit, V,” Johnny sighed, and V turned her head, curious at his despondent tone. She met his eyes and kept his gaze. “It’s your life, I’m just here for the ride. But putting all your eggs in an Arasaka-shaped basket due to some admittedly above average dick is going to blow up in your face.”

“I’m never going to be the kind of person that you need me to be, Johnny,” V finally responded after a long stretch of silence. “I will never be able to do anything that will hurt thousands of people for the potential benefit of everyone else. I’m not capable of that kind of cost-benefit analysis. I just want to live a quiet life, and have everything go back to normal.”

“Yeah. I know.” Johnny looked away. “You know how I feel about normal.” V managed a chuckle. Maybe he was finally getting tired of having this same argument with her, the same back and forth like a broken record.

“It’s not a weakness, Johnny,” V countered quietly. “It’s a different kind of strength. The world needs people like me for people like you to even bother to make any grand gestures to feed your giant egos in the first place.”

Johnny didn’t respond for so long that she was convinced that he was somehow glitched onto her retinas. “You keep thinking that,” Johnny finally said, standing up from the bed. “Whatever makes lets you sleep at night.”

Johnny disappeared without a trace and V stared at the ceiling, waiting for Takemura to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does love make you blind or help you see?


	6. I Wont Let You Go

It was dark outside when V woke to Takemura fussing over her, an emergency kit settled next to her as he disrobed her. She drowsily complied, casting an eye around the room. He had draped his jacket over a chair, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he set on manhandling her.

“This is definitely not as hot as the last time,” V complained, raising her arms obediently when Takemura tried to take off her shirt. He shot her a baleful look and then sighed at the messy gauze applied to her side, red and crusty with her blood, slowly pulling it off. He examined the wound perfuctly and then frowned, turning to rifle through the emergency kit. “You should have treated this sooner - you almost let it get infected,” he scolded her gently.

“I’ve been busy, if you haven’t noticed. You're lucky I even took a shower,” V snarked, watching him decisively sort through all of the medicine and pick out what he thought she needed. “You look like you know what you’re doing.”

“I am no ripperdoc, but I would be a terrible bodyguard if I did not know basic first aid,” Takemura replied as he applied antiseptic to her smaller scratches and cuts. He tore the covers off of some gauze, a suturing kit, and a syringe with a big fucking needle. “I would say the same for mercenaries and thieves.” He handed her a glass of water and a couple of large pills. “Antibiotics. Drink.”

“Right. Well, I’m not usually facing down Arasaka special ops, so do forgive me,” she grumbled as she took a large gulp of water and chased it down with the pills. She stuck her tongue out to prove that she swallowed everything, and she could feel him summoning his inner peace to handle her mockery. She eyeballed the syringe nervously. “What’s uh - what’s with the needle?”

“You need stitches,” Takemura answered, then stabbed her with the needle before she could respond.

“Fuck!” V cursed, trying not to tense up. “What the fuck, Goro?”

“Numbing agent,” he responded easily, turning to thread the suturing needle. She looked away as he went to work, applying antiseptic before stitching her up. 

“Wow, again, you’re scarily good at this. Ugh, I’m sure you do this with all the girls, don’t you,” V pouted, staring at a point above his shoulder. “You gotta at least give the impression that you haven’t gotten around, Goro, it’s going to hurt my feelings.”

Goro sighed deeply - really, V thought, she needed to start a sigh counter, with the number of times she threatened this man’s inner calm - and ignored her completely. He continued to slowly sew her up, cutting the end of the thread with scissors when he finished. At some point V fell quiet and just watched him go through the process, pleased when he finalized taping the gauze over her wound. She wiggled as much as she could without stretching out her side. “Look, all done. Now c’mere and hold me before I freeze to death.”

Takemura removed his shirt and climbed into bed with her, pulling her close to him while being careful to not disturb her gauzed side. V sighed deeply at the skin-to-skin contact, snuggling into his chest. His hands rubbed soothing circles along her back, and she felt her body relax. The thrum of his cybernetics were slightly louder after being partially reactivated and, along with the sound of his heart, it acted like white noise, lulling her into sleep.

V woke up half an hour later to Goro smoothing her hair. “Hi,” she said shyly, smiling up at him. It was the first time she had woke up to him in her bed in days, and it made her feel something warm and fuzzy in her chest. “I um - I was so mad I forgot to ask earlier. How are you? Are you okay?”

He kissed her gently on her nose and cheeks. “Now that I see you, I am better.”

It felt like watching the sunrise, she mused, flushing at his words. Or something even more beautiful, some metaphor that she could come up with if she had even a little poetic ability.

“Hey, Goro - I, I...” V felt doubt creep in, struggling to decide how vulnerable she was willing to make herself. “Can I tell you something? I’m scared. Actually, I’m terrified. I’m uh, I’m going to say a lot of words and they probably wont make much sense but just... just let me say them, alright?” She waited until he nodded before she continued. “I’m scared something is going to go wrong. I know you think Hanako will keep up her side of the deal, but - she’s not like you. You got a vested interest in keeping me alive after everything is said and done, and I’m feeling keen on staying alive, too. But she doesn’t have that. It’s no skin off her back if I don’t make it through all of this once she feels that she’s done enough to say she’s kept her word. I’m scared that you’re going to have to make a hard decision and, fuck, as much as I hate Arasaka, I don’t want you to have to burn all your bridges and leave just for a chance to save me if something goes wrong.” She bit her lip, pausing until she felt the heat gathering her eyes fade into the background. “When uh - when Jackie died, I lost a big part of myself. He was my choom, y’know? My best choom. We’d gone through a lot of shit together and I keep thinking back on him. Would he tell me I’m making the right choice? Jackie was all about getting to the top and leaving a legacy. I’d always been the more cautious one. I never wanted to make it big. I just wanted enough to survive, enough to get out of NC and buy some house next to the sea and live peacefully. But I feel a bit like I’m pissing all over his memory by going back to Arasaka with my tail in between my legs.” She took a deep, deep breath and let it out. “Okay. I’m done. Sorry to lay all that heavy shit on you, I mean -”

“Valerie,” Goro interjected, and she snapped her mouth shut with a click of teeth. “I have also felt the pain from the death of a friend, of loved ones,” he punctuated his admission with a squeeze of her shoulder. “I cannot tell you how to handle your grief. However, for your other concern... I will always find my way back to you. Carefully. And if, in the end, I need to burn every bridge, I will not hesitate.” He pulled her into his arms again, almost crushing her. She took a deep inhale and found that scent that was just his own, lingering under the perfumes from the products he used that morning. “I did not expect to find you here, Valerie. But now that I have you, I will not let you go.”

V felt overtaken with emotion, staring at Goro in shock. “Goddammit, Goro,” V finally deflected, a grin overcoming her face. “You can’t say shit like that when I’m injured. What am I going to do with all of this sexual energy?”

Takemura sighed, thumbing her cheek. “Be serious. Do not mock me, Valerie.” 

V’s face crumbled. Why couldn’t she be any better at acting like a decent human being? “Sorry, I’m not - I just - thank you, Goro,” she finally said, fidgeting under his gaze. “Thank you for - for everything. I didn’t know I could feel as much as you make me feel, and sometimes I just can’t believe that you feel the same.”

Takemura examined her face for a moment before pulling her back close to him. They lay together in comfortable silence. That was new, V realized - she never had felt comfortable enough in Goro’s presence to stop talking or throwing around quips long enough to even have a quiet moment. But even with her newfound appreciation for quiet, she was already starting to reach her limit. “What do you think I should do after I’m fixed up?” V mumbled into his shoulder. “After we get this chip out of my head.”

“If you allow, I will take you to Japan, to Kagawa,” Takemura began as he rubbed her arms comfortingly. “I want to show you what it is like to live without fear. To show you real food, not what passes for it here in Night City. To meet my parents and see the home that they have cultivated over many years.”

“Your parents are still alive? I thought your grandmother raised you. You never talk about them,” V blinked, lifting her head up from his shoulder to look at him.

Takemura looked a little uncomfortable. “I was - not a good son, in my youth. After... my parents have not always approved my profession. They worry, as all parents do, for their eldest son. But they have enjoyed stability and peace since I was able to bring them out of the slums. I am happy to have provided that for them.”

V was silent for a moment, taking the opportunity to trace his face with her fingers. “Any more family that I should know about?”

“A younger brother and sister,” Goro replied. He began tracing lines along her collarbones. “I have not seen them in a very long time. Not since I have left home.”

“I’d love to meet them, all of them,” V sniffled, her eyes starting to water. Having a concrete example of Goro’s devotion was making her weepy. “But - shit, meeting the parents. That’s a big step, Goro. I don’t even know how to - would they want to meet me? How does that even work in Japan? I’m just - I can’t even speak Japanese!”

“Of course they will want to meet you, Valerie,” Goro pulled her back down and kissed her deeply. When they broke apart he smiled at her, a real, genuine smile. “When they see your spirit, they will be unable to help but love you as I do.”

V stared at him for a moment in disbelief until the words fully caught up to her. She couldn’t stop the tears then, sobbing quietly into Takemura’s chest as he whispered quiet comforts into her ear and rubbed her shoulders in gentle, circular motions.

They stayed that way until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These poor, sweet babies.


	7. Core Mikoshi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Smut ahead, if you don’t want to read it, skip to the first scene break.  
> WARNING2: Plot spoilers ahead - if you haven’t completed The Devil, here’s your warning!

V decided that she was going to start investing in more protective gear when she could finally do anything on her own. Maybe if she wrapped herself in a half mile of bubble-wrap, she’d be allowed to leave her apartment again without needing to sneak out. Takemura was worse than a mother hen when V was hurt, clucking around her and refusing to let her do anything he thought was strenuous until he decided that she was completely healed. That included meeting Hanako.

“Hanako-sama has not told me much of her plans,” he told her when she weakly protested that it was only a couple of gunshots. “But I know that it involves the board. They meet late next week - you have time to consider your options. And heal.”

The real motivator for a fast recovery, though, was that Takemura also refused to go any further than kissing her. It wasn’t through lack of effort on her part. She’d palmed him, pawed at him, talked dirty to him - every trick in the book - but he wouldn’t budge. Eventually she gave up and just sulked, glowering at him when he turned his back to her because although she hated it, she knew he was right. Not that it wouldn’t stop her acting like a petulant child. Damn him for being responsible and not wanting her to bust her stitches, she thought sullenly as he snuck out of her apartment without offering her any relief. Again.

A couple days later, V was sitting up on her bed as Takemura checked her wounds. He made a pleased sound and looked up from peering at her side. “You have healed well,” he declared, and V opened her mouth, a quip all loaded up and ready to go - but her words were cut short as she yelped in surprise. Goro had grabbed her and spun her around like a damn top, leaving her almost dizzy with the speed of the twirl. He pulled her back against his chest, roughly palming her breasts as he pulled them out of her bra, thumbing her nipples while trailing hot, wet kisses up the line of her neck. “You need to be punished,” he rumbled lowly into her ear, and she shivered at the sound, a frisson of pleasure bringing rise to goosebumps all over her skin. “For being such a bad patient.”

“O-oh,” V gulped, her breath coming in rapid pants. Desire pooled low in her belly as she squirmed against him. “Was I? I thought I was - oh! - I thought I was very good, given the circumstances.”

“You were not,” Goro disagreed wholeheartedly, punctuating his sentiment with a hard squeeze. “You tried to tempt me into malpractice.” He let go of one of her breasts to fumble with her pants, and she helped him, pulling them down with her hands and wiggling out of her underwear. He roughly pushed her torso down, quickly letting up and controlling her descent so her face wouldn’t smash into the mattress. “Are you ready to accept your punishment?”

V considered herself a very self-sufficient and independent woman. She survived growing up in the streets of Night City, one of the most dangerous cities in the world, on her wits alone, thank you very much. But something about Takemura taking control of her - only now, in these moments that existed between them alone - caused a thrill to run through her body. “I - I guess I should,” she acquiesced demurely, slowly shifting her legs apart. “Punish me, doctor.” 

Goro took a sharp inhale behind her and she smirked against the mattress, her hands twisting into the sheets in anticipation. Serves him right, she thought with a tinge of smugness, for teasing her for so long. She felt one of his hands squeeze her ass and she flushed, pushing against his hand and - fuck, she should’ve felt embarrassed by the needy sound that came out of her throat, but she’d been watching Goro roll up his sleeves and flash his forearms like it was nothing for a damned week. She felt entitled to some temporary insanity.

“Goro,” V whined, unable to wait any longer. “Please.”

He took no more time to enter her then, fast and brutal, and she moaned at the sudden sensation of fullness. He paused as he bottomed out, a grunt escaping him as his fingers dug deeper into her skin, and that same smug feeling of delight rose in her again. She loved that she was the one who could unravel even one ounce of his remarkably tightly wound control, that made him struggle to not just lose himself in her. She wiggled against him impatiently and he swatted at her gently as he slowly began to move again. The sounds that their bodies made as they came together, wet and sinful, was almost enough to make V see stars. And then Takemura picked up speed, his pace on the edge of vicious, and she could only gasp as she used all of her presence of mind to hang on. She felt his hand reach forward and gently rub against her clit, and she was not going to last any longer if he kept doing that -

She fell apart so quickly that even she was surprised, an unmodulated wail escaping her as she pressed her walls down so hard around him that she felt him buck wildly and heard him hiss in response. He suddenly pulled out of her and she gasped, shocked at the emptiness.

“I want to look at you,” Goro pleaded, pulling at her waist. “Valerie.”

V, still shivering from her orgasm, flopped over onto her back and reached up to him smiling. He leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him close to her as she guided him back into her. His kisses were hot and desperate and she responded in kind, moving against him as he tried to find his release. He nested his head into her shoulder and repeated her name like a litany, punctuated with a soft grunt as he came inside of her.

They stayed together in the same position, panting but sated, before they pulled apart and laid together quietly. When she caught her breath, V rolled over and smiled at Goro, swinging a leg over his hip. “I hope you know you just reinforced my bad behavior.” 

He cracked open an eye and glanced over at her. “Hm. Unfortunate.”

V cackled loudly, throwing her head back with glee, before she leaned into him and kissed him soundly.

*****

V had stopped him before they left her apartment for the last time.

“Hey. Goro,” V intoned, and she sounded so uncharacteristically serious, she supposed, that Takemura stopped in his tracks and looked at her in alarm. “One - one sec, before we go.”

She grabbed his arm and pulled him close to her, their sides meshed together as she held her phone out in front of them both. She concentrated and the camera on the phone flashed. Goro looked down at her in confusion, but V ignored him, mechanically working her phone as she found the newly taken photo and sent it to Goro via text message. She could hear his phone vibrate as he received it. “If something goes wrong - don’t forget me, okay?” V mumbled, staring down at her phone’s screen. She swallowed as her mouth suddenly felt dry. “You can - you - just, um, don’t let me stop living your life, y’know. But maybe think on me sometimes when you’re back in Japan. Eat some yakitori in my honor or something.”

Goro gently pulled one of her hands from clutching her phone and laced his fingers into hers. He leaned down and stared into her eyes, and V found herself mesmerized. “Valerie, everything will be fine.” His hands drifted up and he cradled her head as his lips crashed onto hers, and she sank into him, trying to ignore the anxiety that sat like lead at the bottom of her stomach. When they pulled apart, she tried to smile back at him reassuringly, but wasn’t sure if it reached her eyes. She didn't think it did, because Goro took one look at her and pulled her close to him, whispering into her hair. “Everything will be fine.”

But why then, V thought, did it feel like it was the end?

*****

Arasaka tower was in flames, and V was glad to watch it burn.

V kissed Goro under sterile fluorescent lights, covered in blood that wasn’t her own. Borrowed time, she thought faintly. I’m running on fumes and borrowed time. He pulled away from her and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“We will meet again soon, Valerie,” V heard him say. He sounded like he was a million miles away even though he was right in front of her. “I will be here. If I go through that door, I will kill him. And your deal with Hanako-sama would be undone.”

Takemura had never talked about the rage that was simmering under his skin except in vague terms. She knew it was something real, something tangible and dark and she wanted to understand except - now he was going to abandon her when she needed him the most. But she knew also what he was giving up, and V slowly nodded, trying to concentrate through the dreamscape that had descended upon her. The Relic - Johnny - was breaking through, and she was slowly losing her ability to block it from taking over her mind. She memorized his features one last time, from the shape of his nose and lips to the color of his eyes. The broadness of his shoulders and the feel of his large hands as they clasped her waist. The smell of his cologne as he wrapped his arms around her. The taste of his mouth as she kissed him one last time.

“I love you,” she whispered to him, unable to stop the fear from shaking her voice. She slipped out from his grasp and tried to smile. “See you soon. Stay safe.”

She walked to the edge of the world, and didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, here comes the sadness.


	8. Where is My Mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Remember when I said last chapter that you shouldn’t read if you haven’t played The Devil? Same thing here.

Another day, another disaterous test. 

V laid on the ground, panting and trying to get her breath after collapsing again. The world was painted in blues and purples, as if the saturation was dialed up too high, and she was doing her best not to hurl. She slowly rolled onto her back. At least she didn’t pass out during the physical this time, she thought, grimacing as she tried to stand up. Small mercies for her dignity. The doctor went off script today, though. What was it she said? Communications...

V grunted as she finally sat up and then pushed herself to stand, leaning heavily on the arms of the treadmill. She took a step forward and then collapsed under her own weight. She allowed herself to wallow in self-pity for a moment before forcibly dragging herself over to the desk. She remembered correctly - the communications console that was once dormant now glowed softly. She tried to remember who she knew well enough to even burden with a sub-orbital space call - of all the things she remembered, she knew that it was very expensive. She rummaged through her memories, reaching out as far as she could though many of them lingered just outside her grasp. Names were fuzzy and faces indeterminate. She stared dumbly at at the interface before she decided to let muscle memory take the lead, looking away from the console while her fingers tapped away. She frowned at the contact information that blinked lazily on the screen, a series of characters that she couldn’t completely recognize but felt warm and familiar. It had to be important to her if she was dialing it enough to memorize. Hopefully it wasn’t Jackie’s number. She shuddered at the thought - she wasn’t sure if she could take hearing his voicemail right now. She took a deep breath and pressed the call button.

He answered immediately. 

She suddenly felt breathless, her fingers moving to trace the image on the video feed before she could even think about it. She knows this face - she loves this face, those steel gray eyes and furrowed brow, she realized distantly. The man who convinced her to take this path beyond all reason.

“V,” the man - Takemura Goro, his name is Goro, she reminded herself - said quietly, staring intently at her. She could see his eyes roving, taking her in and checking every visible part of her for injury. Old habits die hard, she thought, and then wondered what made her think that. “I am glad that you called. I was beginning to fear the worst.”

“Hey,” V smiled, a genuine smile, she thinks, for the first time in a long while. She quickly reeled herself back and bit her lip lightly, trying to keep her elation inside. Something self-preseving roiled in her gut and told her to show as little affection as possible. “Long time no see. They only let me start calling out today. How long was I out?”

“It has been about about two months,” he replied after a moment. She had an eerie feeling that he knew how long it had been down to the hour. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” she said bluntly, and felt only a little bit sorry when he shifted and looked away for a moment, uncomfortable with her response. “I distinctly remember being told that I was supposed to feel better after, not worse.”

“Please be patient, V,” Takemura pleaded, trying to communicate something with his eyes. “You had major brain surgery. It takes time to recover.”

“I’ve been trying to be patient! I’ve been tested every day and I can’t tell if I’m getting better and no one will tell me what the hell is going on!” The rage built inside of her so quickly she felt like she was going to explode. She screamed incoherently and buried her face into her hands. “I’m losing my fucking mind, and I came here to save it!”

Takemura was silent after her outburst, and she breathed raggedly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. She opened her eyes and leaned forward. “T-Takemura-san,” she whispered into the comm, her hands shaking. When had she ever been so formal with him? But who knows who was listening, watching? “Would it be possible for you to visit? It would be nice to see a friendly face. Maybe it would help with my recovery.”

I miss you. Please don't leave me alone up here.

I don't know who I am anymore.

She watched his face closely and was pleased to know she could still read him, even if his skin was blue. His eyes were suspiciously shiny at her request, and the corner of his mouth twitched for a millisecond before he was able to return back to a placid facade.

“Of course, V. I am indebted to you. I will see what I can do.”

Please hold on. I love you.

“Thank you,” she breathed, sagging with relief. Don't cry, don't cry - shit. Fucking hormones all over the place, starting the waterworks. She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, looking away from the camera. “Ah - sorry. The um, surgery has kind of got me out of whack. They're running tests on me every day but won't tell me what's going on.”

She had a sense of deja-vu. Did she say that already? She was suddenly so, so tired. Takemura was silent and pensive, and if she knew him as well as she thought she did, she would say that he was radiating guilt. “I will get there as soon as I can,” he replied soothingly, like he was speaking to a wild animal. “Stay safe, V.”

She could only nod before she turned off the feed, staggered into the small, empty bed, and cried herself to sleep.

*****

She hated dreaming.

Her dreams were now ephemeral, symbolic messes, punctuated by amorphous shadows dancing behind her eyelids and the yawning maw of space threatening to swallow her whole. She would wake up in a cold sweat, shivering underneath the single sheet that was provided to her, her hands grasping for a man that was still on Earth.

One day she saw Jackie. She didn’t sleep for a few days after that one. She could go her entire life without seeing him lifeless again.

Somehow, she never saw Johnny.

She knew she was really losing it when she started to miss seeing him in the corner of her eye, telling her she was a fuck up. It was hard to think about Johnny when she was turning into him, but now that he was gone she found that she couldn’t stop.

And as she stared into the depths of space, at the constellation of stars twinkling in the distance as she lost her mind to the void, she was starting to think that maybe he had a point.

*****

Takemura arrived a week later.

V had trashed the room in a rage the day before after another failed, unexplained test, and then sat huddled in a corner, unmoving and staring into space. She was losing her emotional control. Hell, she was losing control in general. She could feel her mind fracturing under the pressure, and she held the pieces of herself with ductape and pure spite, furiously trying to glue the herself together even as she could start to feel herself slowly disappear.

She started back to consciousness sitting under a stream of ice cold water in the small shower adjacent to her cell, Takemura crouched in front of her, shaking her, saying her name over and over. Pleading for her to come back.

“G-Goro,” she finally choked out, and he let out a ragged sigh of relief and quickly gathered her into his arms, whispering comforting words into her ear. She sighed happily and burrowed into the warmth of his embrace, the feeling like a homecoming. “You came,” she laughed, deliriously joyous. “You came, you came...”

Takemura gently released her and leaned back. He moved wet strands of hair from her face, gazing into her eyes before kissing her sweetly and gently, as if she would break into a thousand pieces. She growled and deepened the kiss, not wanting to be treated like porcelain, her fingernails scratching the above the nape of his neck, right above his cybernetics. He resisted until something shattered inside of him, and he all but ravished her mouth as he pulled her as close to him as physically possible. V never felt more alive, a fire lighting in her blood as he drank from her, water falling around them. He suddenly stopped and pulled back, and she protested wordlessly as he smoothed and ran his fingers through her wet hair to soothe her. 

“I promised I would come,” Takemura reminded her stoically. His voice belied his intense relief, though - she could tell by how he was unable to keep his hands off of her. He touched her hands, her shoulders, her cheeks, as if checking that she was actually real. He had stripped down so that his clothes wouldn’t get soaked - she glanced over his shoulder and found them neatly folded on the toilet - and she lifted a hand to trace the reactivated cybernetics that lined his neck and torso, admiring the shining chrome. He shivered and grabbed her hand, kissing each of her fingers. “Not here,” he murmured. V suddenly froze, remembering that they were still on an Arasaka sub-orbital station. He shook his head at her, smiling faintly. “Arasaka does many things, but cameras in the bathroom is not one of them,” he said lowly, pulling her back into his arms again. “I just do not trust myself in here for long with you. Valerie. I am very happy that you are alive.”

That makes one of us, V thought sadly. She didn’t respond, only sank deeper into him, trying to re-memorize the feel of his arms around her. He set his head on top of hers and they both sat silently under the stream, clinging to one another after finally finding each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks, I am your conductor. All aboard the angst train!


	9. The Devil

When the spray of cold water became overwhelming, Takemura gently lifted V up from the ground and held her tightly until she could confirm that the world had stopped spinning. He dressed and got her a clean gown, drying her and helping her get dressed. She had never felt more pathetic, but she was completely sapped of any strength and convinced that not even Saburo Arasaka could convince Takemura to let V do it herself either way.

“Valerie,” Takemura cupped her cheek lovingly, eyes roaming across her face to make sure she was still lucid before looking away from her and towards the door. “I would carry you to bed myself, but I cannot turn off the cameras in the room without raising suspicion. Lean on me?”

V thinks she would have normally made a lewd joke. She really, really tried to think of one. But all she could manage was a weak nod as she leaned on him, a death grip on his bicep as they slowly trudged across the room. When they made it to the bed, she melted onto it, feeling small and helpless. Takemura sat patiently as she struggled to sit up, and as she eventually gave up sitting on her own and sat up against the wall.

“Sorry about that, I seem to have started to disassociate. Thanks for your help.” V said as evenly as possible. She hoped the cameras couldn’t hear her heart breaking as she treated Takemura like a mere acquaintance. “So. How are you? Are you still bodyguard extraordinaire?”

Takemura had already transitioned back into his emotionless mask. She knew why, but it still gnawed at her insides. “I have been transferred to Japan. I will fly from here to Takamatsu.”

V did her best to not outwardly display her immense shock. She was pretty sure she failed. Takamatsu was a large port city but nothing like Tokyo, the seat of Arasaka power. Far away from it, too. His parents lived in Kagawa, she suddenly recalled, a memory of one of their last conversations rising to the surface. “Taka - what? I mean, that’s - that’s such a huge change. Is this good? Should I be congratulating you?”

Takemura smirked and her insides melted. Damn him. “It is not unwelcome. It allows me to have a more stable presence in Japan. Less travel and not as high profile.” His eyes bored into hers, and her heart-rate sped up. She could read between the lines, but was she making up the lines? “But we say far too much about me.”

“Right,” V said bitterly, looking away. “If they sent you up here so quickly, there’s probably something else going on. Is there something that you need to tell me?”

She saw Takamura’s hand twitch at his side in her periphery. She glanced at his hand and then up to his face, blinking when she saw that the edges of his mask were starting to crack. She could tell from the way his eyes narrowed and how his jaw began to clench. His hands twitched again - she surmised he was trying to resist clenching them in anger. Hopefully not at her. “I am sorry to say that it’s not good. I will be blunt,” He moved to pick up the chair that she threw across the room, and sat in it. “The surgery did not work. You will be dead before winter.”

There were a couple of times that V felt like the ground had opened underneath her and she was going to free-fall into the abyss. The first time was when she watched Jackie die and then died herself, pathetic and squirming on the ground like a worm. The second was when she thought Goro might be dead before she reached him in the fires of that squalid apartment complex. Third time seems like the charm, she hoped, to make sure that she never felt this feeling again. “I don’t understand,” she said dumbly, numbly - her voice was louder than she expected. She was going to disassociate again if she didn’t get a fucking grip. “You - you promised. Arasaka would fix me. They’ve got the best and brightest.”

“That is why I am here. There are options,” Takemura continued, barreling through her outburst. Distantly, she recognized that this was probably killing him and eating him up inside just as much as it was her. He was watching her die in real time, powerless and unable to help her.

V started shaking, hysterical laughter threatening to escape her. The situation was absurd. “Dead in a few months, huh. Went through all that...” Trusted you, she thought. Loved you. Killed Johnny. Betrayed Jackie’s memory. She stared at him, the abyss tearing through her insides, chill settling into her bones. She would weep if she wasn’t so empty. And now we must break into pieces separately, behind masks, she thought listlessly, even when we’re sitting right across from each other.

Takemura leveled a stare at her. He was starting to regain control of his face, but his hands were starting to tremble instead of twitch. “You will feel better at first. But then the illness will grow fierce, attack in full force. Your final weeks, you will spend in bed.” It hurts me to see you so small, she could imagine him saying. I refuse to let you die with a whimper when you were once so strong.

She could hear Johnny in her head. Quiet life, or blaze of glory? He said she chose wrong. She was starting to see what he meant.

“There are options,” Takemura repeated, quieter this time. “You may join the Secure Your Soul program. Hanako Arasaka has agreed to it.”

Now V couldn’t hold back the laughter. She stared at her hands, which still hadn’t stopped shaking. Hell, her whole body was still shaking. “So, I gotta not just lose my body because of Arasaka, but now my soul? My freedom?” She felt the abyss inside her grow even larger. 

Takemura took her hand and gripped it tightly, and she felt a strong urge to tear her hand from his grasp. But she had no strength and so she stilled and took a few deep breaths before looking up at again his face. When do I stop being the me that you fell in love with? V wondered dazedly. When does that line get crossed and I start being a complete stranger that you owe a debt?

“It is your choice,” Takemura said gently. “This is not a prison; you are free to leave. However, were I you, I would choose to sign.” He removed his hand from hers and slipped a tablet into her hands, legalese in small print automatically scrolling as she tried to read. Her unfocused eyes glazed over at the words, and she could feel the heat gathering around her eyes and the hitch forming in her breath. She would be allowing Anders Hellman of all people to own her. She would not legally have the same rights as a human, imprisoned in a digital fortress and at the whim of a flimsy contract. What the fuck was a contract supposed to do for a woman that had no money, no power, no one to protect her if it was broken? “Please, V,” she heard him plead as her hands continued to tremble. “Choose life.”

Choose us. V processed his unspoken words; why would Goro sign? He trusted Arasaka. He would take the offer if he knew that he had someone waiting for him on the other side, who would wait however long it took for him to return to them. Could she do that to Goro? What if it took fifty years, would he still be there waiting, like some loyal dog? Shit, would it even be worth the wait?

“Is it worth it?” V asked quietly. “The risk. I don’t know - I talked to Alt Cunningham. She was nothing like before. Could be the same that happens to me. Just ones n’ zeros, a good imitation of myself. Different mind, different body...” She sat the tablet beside her, and weakly waved for Takemura to come closer. He hesitated before moving his chair closer to her, leaning in. “Don’t let Hellman use me as a lab rat; he’s always been way too interested in me. Take me home with you,” she whispered softly into his ear, “Please. Mikoshi isn’t life. I just wanna choose life with you, even if it’s the end.” He turned his head to fully face her, and she lifted a hand to wipe a tear that had escaped his eye. V smiled ruefully, resting her hand on his cheek. “Is that too much to ask? To have you watch me die?”

They both stared at each other, and V felt as if time had stood still as she watched him struggle to answer. She could hear the drip of the shower head as the final droplets of water splashed against the tiled bathroom floor. The quiet hum of Goro’s cybernetics. The murmur of the machines that she hadn’t managed to destroy seemed obnoxiously loud, the white walls closing in on her.

“Yes,” he rasped, his hand coming up to cover her own for a moment, squeezing lightly. “It is. But I will do so anyways.” V let out a shuddering breath that she did not know she had been holding. He gently removed her hand from his face and set it down on her lap. “Do not be embarrassed, V,” Takeumura continued at a normal volume after leaning away from her and clearing his throat, his eyes suspiciously red. “It is understandable that you will not be able to continue to live in Night City. I would be honored to host you in Takamatsu.”

“When can we leave?” That yawning abyss was beginning to recede, slipping back into the recesses of her mind.

He interlaced his fingers with hers, and she gaped down at their connected hands. Goro stared at her and she could almost watch gears work behind his eyes as he struggled over something. He finally stood up and leaned over the bed, slowly descending until his lips slanted over hers. She slipped her hands from his and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. V reveled in the sensation of his lips against hers and the scratchiness of his beard, of the raw feeling of being alive. Takemura moved back slightly and moved an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Now.” He positioned his hands behind her shoulders and helped sit her up, pressing another kiss on her temple. “Let us go home, Valerie.”

V beamed at him, a genuine smile, and nodded, shifting until she could swing her legs over the side of the bed, her feet touching the floor. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Takemura helped her to her feet and grabbed her belongings, allowing her to lean on him as they walked out of the room. When the guard noticed them together as he stood in front of the doorway, they both froze, staring at the man who they had forgot was charged to watch over V with similarly aghast expressions. V clung to Takemura, her hands placed around his waist in a way that could only be construed as familiar.

The guard blinked at them for a moment, his gaze considering, before he simply turned around to stare out the window without a word.

V and Takemura glanced at each other, and V shrugged at his questioning stare. Takemura, for his part, merely looked suspiciously at the guard’s back before guiding V down the long, seemingly endless hallway. The automatic doors opened as they approached with a loud pneumatic hiss, and they both stepped into a dark hallway.

“Look,” V exclaimed quietly, her eyes drawn out of the windows, to the source of light. One of her hands tugged on Takemura’s jacket and he stopped, following her gaze. She stared into the abyss of space and at that beautiful, pale blue dot in the distance, marveling at its majesty, before tilting her head slightly and staring up at Takemura’s profile. Only his facial features and his shoulders were visible in the dim, illuminated by the starlight.

We’re both alive, V realized suddenly, tears prickling her eyes. And when we’re alive, we can do anything.

As V leaned on Takemura, feeling his warmth and his strength as they supported each other in the face of their uncertain tomorrow, the first seeds of hope began to blossom in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that’s all folks!
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story and come on this journey with me. I appreciate each and every one of you.


End file.
